Been a really long time that I have been here. The life has changed completely - priorities, work, thought process, people, place, world and more importantly I have changed a lot. A lot I believe!
There is nothing better place to write - write to pen down your emotions. The emotions that have seized to be settle down - I am trying every day. But, these emotions cannot settle down as I have committed a crime - no, a sin. I have a really big regret - huge regret - which would last for the entire life, if not more.
Lost my dear friend - a friend who has been so much close to my heart, my life - gave so much positivity to my thinking. A friend who made me run for those extra miles when I was asking myself - why should I! A friend who was there when you needed a presence - just to sit next to each other. Many a times without a single word. A friend whose happy ' Good morning AshKD!' was used to feel so refreshing. A friend who trusted me blindly when I was not preparing for my final placements. A friend who asked me once - 'Dont you want to solve the real world problems - what are you doing in Kanpur!'. A friend whose words has always been in your mind - questioning yourself, understanding your decisions better from her perspective. A friend who was there - when you best needed someone. A friend who was more than just a friend.
And, what did this friend want - a simple request a few months back. "Let's meet soon :)" - thats it! And, I couldnt meet her. I didnt know that this was from someone who was going to go soon. For me, soon had definitions of months/ couple of years/ or an opportunity - that I would plan to go to the next trip to Singapore. May be in next 10-12 months. But, her definition of soon was in weeks/ months in single digit. I didnt know it. I had so many clues to understand it - but I ignored and kept thinking that there are personal decisions - and, so called, I need to respect those personal decisions. This personal decision of mine to respect her personal decision has costed me 'Her'.
It has costed me 'Her'!
Rest in Peace Chinkoo! - one of my soulmates!
There are so many things to write about you - but my regret is too much burden on me!
Should have told me once - maybe I didnt deserve to!
