Tuesday, September 23, 2008

crush.. infatuation.. juhiiiiiiii..alinaaaaaaaaaaa

who is she?? she is a "common" girl.. she was.. not anymore.. she is celebrity.. not till now.. might be in the making.. she is one of the twin sisters.. she is shy, cool, dusky, straight forward, stands for herself, has self pride.. sometimes shaky and doesn't know how to react.. she is learning.. she wants to learn... not a slow-and-steady-wins the race types.. if you can run fast then why to go slow.. she is thinking to run fast and might be tumbling at points.. granted.. this much for learning from your own mistakes and going gradually up..

and the most important point.. she is the 2nd celebrity (kind of.. ok.. lets say a-seen-on-TV girl) who made my heart to stop irregularly.. my eyes to stop moving in curiosity.. the remote to go somewhere hidden as it was not required till the time she was on screen.. and me watching the same show thrice daily (on some days... ) She is Alina.. Alina Wadiawalla..

first TV-crush cum infatuation cum loosing your senses cum slow motions of pahla nasha pahla khumar.. at the age of 12.. with Juhi.. the first time for me.. the second is now for Alina.. at 26.. peoplesay you learn as you grow.. but for me, its just like old fashion or history which repeats itself after sometime.. that was fun for months.. the timelag or the so called maturity doesnt let me to go to that stage.. this much for crossing an age and gaining some sensibilty, if there any in me..

Meanwhile.. i was thinking about three things..

1. recently another virgo, Ms Kareena Kapoor had her birthday.. she turned 28.. I think Amrita singh must have been around this age only when she got married to Saif... So when he was 23 something he loved a 28 something girl.. now he is 40+ and still loves 28 something girl.. hmmm.. does he love anyone or its just the age that he loves.. :P

2. just like archimedes, i also think most creatively when i take a bath.. and unlike him, i learn new things and innovation while i sleep..

i was taking a bath and i realised that most of the names of hindustani girls have a trend.. if their name starts with the letter 'A' then there is very very high probability that the name would end with the letter 'A' or 'I'.. like AlinA.. AsthA.. ApoorvA.. AartI.. AradhnA.. AnamikA.. AyushI.. ArushI.. etc.. exceptions.. Aeman.. Annu..(abhi suggested this one) this gave the thought to second thinking..

3. Why do girls have their last alphabet at a higher note.. 'I', 'A' or 'U' generally.. i think in older times, the girls must have been shouted regularly for hourework or in general also.. like.. arre Annuuuuuuuuuuuuu suno zara.. or any other thing.. in those times shouting a boy's name would have been thought very bad.. so their name is mostly with the ending letter in a lower tone.. you cannot shout those names..

BUT.. the time has come for equality so guys are also having names which can be shouted.. and i am torch bearer of the modern age... i am proud of myself for this... :-) Ashwiniiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :P

Thursday, September 18, 2008

words popping.. here and there.. as they want..

snapshots of my diary...

from someone to me..


just chill khush raho dear. jai mata di


Kamal ho tussi :-) :-) :-)


My friendship is not like rain that pours & goes but its more like the air sometime keeps quiet but its always there around 'u'..


Good m'ning. Have a nice stay :-)


Nahi yaar still there.. 25 mins to go :)


:).. Abhi 2328.. Good night and happy birthday again..


A Birthday wish for real happiness :-) For today and all year through. Happy B'day dear. May MATA bless u always. jai mata di.


Ok ji.. Finally we coordinate.. :P

start of 2007..

To write anything about life at IIMC in last two years frightens me from inside. It gives me enough discouragement to not to be brave to do any kind of justice to what had happened.. there are some things which i clearly donot want to write, discuss or let it be known by any stranger.. Was there any dream in mind to come here.. was it just another decision.. The decision was proper and more-or-less that is also achieved..

April 2007

Do we need to think about everything in life.. yes.. we do need to think about the things which matter but what about things which are never there.. which are only your assumptions and fear.. Is the word 'karma' is not that important that you start worrying about smaller issues.. And then, those smaller issues become so important that you forget the main thing..

End April 2007

I couldn't make it to his wedding.. wanted to go but i think that it was not on my cards..


there are different equations being solved simultaneously but every equation thinks that it is the one which would decide the final solution.. Its the biggest myth of the life that we donot see the big picture..
Have to update myself.. have to update people as well.. Lot to do.. let the life be hectic.. I love to be in that state..


There are people who want to be get attached with me, trying for long.. I am still not thinking in any of such directions.. And, some people still remind me of 8 year old stories... I just wonder most of the times, what she be doing just now..


Another day starts with a similar bubble in the stomach.. This bubble is of inaction or of the fear of what is to be done next..
I donot really want help from anyone right now.. Till the time permits.. till the will power lasts.. till there is strength in me.. I would drive myself with self-respect and self-confidence.. I just want these from almightly, God..


I really enjoy and Love talking to Princess.. Its a very happy feeling for me always..

Monday, September 15, 2008

Veronica decides to die!! n lives in shadow.. forever!!

the inferiority complex.. this is the new thing in me.. and when i think more about it, i get it even more.. daily.. continuosuly.. yesterday i wrote the diary and read a few old ones.. i wrote about constancy.. thats the killing experience.. moreover, if i would say that there is constancy in most of the things, others are not growing either.. except the depression.. loss.. lostlessness..darkness.. loneliness.. the black dark at the end of the road.. a road that gets blocked.. not like a tunnel where the end is brighter.. its an end.. a dead end. and i am getting closer to it every day.. now i dont bother about even lizards moving on me.. i dont need to care about it.. its like a flat tyre running on the road.. the only thing that it can produce is spark.. and it has to be stopped..eventually.. the worst feeling.. i feel that i cant be loved.. i am not to be loved.. i am too bad to be loved.. i dont deserve it either.. i am not designed for it.. now i do make so many mistakes while typing also.. i dont want to this also.. happy. gushy feelings.. nah.. God must have been something else while decorating the life of mine.. i dont blame to Her also.. why should i.. i dont want that also.. its like that the river had started with full force.. ramping on the falls.. cutting edges.. suddenly the plain has come.. and its stopped.. why suddenly.. then there is the end also.. and the river is about to meet its end very soon.. eventually..

i am watching a movie.. i dont want to watch that also.. its one of the hits of the year.. everyone loves it.. i am indifferent.. i dont want it either.. moreover i dont want to put this write up on the blog.. not this time.. nah!!