Monday, March 24, 2008

A useless creature i am!!!

Sometimes I feel that I am useless.. they are right.. I need a psychiatrist... Do I need to do things which I am doing.. why is it very important for me to give the structure to anybody’s life.. I am busy helping people for all their worldly and psychological problems.. I try to make them think.. but is it very important for people to think.. there are many people who are not thinking anything.. they are just going with the flow of the life and they are not even bothered to think about whether they are really happy or not.. they have never thought about this "thinking" phenomenon as well.. so... is it very important to think..

today I had gone to a village in the morning.. some 30 kms from kanpur.. I saw a bhains.. it was busy eating.. just standing on 4 legs.. without moving.. there was a very slow motion of the movement of its neck.. whether it was a deliberate attempt to move or not but it moved.. there was a rope on the neck.. on the face as well.. it was all its destiny.. I thought about myself to have such a rope around me.. me standing at one place.. having nothing to think about.. having no newspaper.. no site.. no one of my community all around me.. I am busy eating.. and then just relaxing.. and then there is no thinking about anything.. I am scolded.. I am taken to places without my consent.. I am asked to do all those things which I could never correlate with myself.. it could be a kind of exploration for the world.. an unknown world for me.. an expedition.. but what’s the end of this expedition.. just another bucket full of food.. and then.. nothing else.. I tried to look at its eyes.. it was red.. someone might have put some holi color on it.. but she couldn’t say anything.. nor had gone to wash it away.. nature has given everyone a tendency to remove anything bad for the eyes by the means of tears... it must have done the same thing.. it was not too eager to get the relief at then and there.. unlike we human being.. who want that these kinds of unnatural elements should be removed from the body as soon as possible.. suddenly there was some action.. something was itching at its face.. it moved the last leg and did some itching.. that was again a very slow movement.. what is the case with the mosquitoes.. those might be sitting at those places where it cannot do anything to remove them at all.. but is it bothered about anything.. doing all those things which are required for any living creature.. and that’s it.. except that.. nothing else.. what’s the importance of so many animals in the world.. they have different works for the balance of the nature.. it makes a place where you can see and admire the beauty of the world.. these animals are providing you something which you might be using somewhere in the daily routine.. but what’s the importance of all those for them... isn’t it the case that the world is created for human beings.. isn’t the case that we have got the art to utilize everything based upon own requirement.. at the end of the day, we don’t bother what the animals are getting.. except a bucket full of food.. some place to sit.. that’s it...

but are we supposed to take care of everything of theirs.. are we supposed to make them intellectually strong.. is it possible to do such things.. would they respond in the proper manner.. bottom line.. would there be any difference that we can make by anything other than what we are doing at present.. I am not sure completely but there are very very high chances that all this would be a fruitless exercise for them all in general..

coming back to the original theme.. people and their thinking.. can I correlate them with this kind of a bhains.. not exactly.. but people who are not thinking anything, those are not very different from these creatures.. as they are driven and ridden by the worldly forces to every place.. without knowing where they are heading.. with whom they are moving.. and they don’t need anything other than a bucket full of money to sit idle.. relax in the life as its going..

The same dilemma.. am I supposed to do all this thing.. Moreover, it isn’t a job I have chosen.. its something which I am good at.. and then I enjoy doing it.. people in the end don’t think about anything and it seemed that they didn't need the thinking which I was teaching them.. but the worst part is that they didn't realize it when they were in the learning phase… so what should I do?? It makes me feel that I am not fit for any relation.. Sometimes I feel that I am an idealist.. Perfectionist.. I am.. but I don't put all this on to people.. I want them to happy.. and I want them to think to be happy every time.. it’s a state which is made possible only by them.. not by anybody.. and for them its very important to constantly think about being happy…

~ Be happy!! Always.. :-)

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