these are the quietest days of my life.. coming to office.. doing all my personal things.. reading.. reading.. thinking.. then again reading.. then when bored.. having some badmaashi with people in the office who are older as compared to their age and looks.. this gives only a limited space to me to do any kind of shaitani... hardly people come.. the classes which were always filled up with actions.. people who had endless questions about themselves and the things around their lives, have lost touch.. others were always having some formal relationship..
so sitting in the office is like shutting your mouth till the end of the day.. and having conversations for about some unearthy minutes in the day.. and the night is not also very different.. then again thinking about myself and reading.. and sometimes when i go to sleep, i wonder.. did i read or i should again.. there is some kind of restlessness of not having much of challenge... and the challenge that i have right now, is not completely dependent upon me.. then these sites, books are the best friends of mine... i dont get proper sleep nowadays.. with every kind of gittery responses the bed gives me, i am always up... no proper dreams and when i get up, i try to make myself busy with the routine activities.. have never been very much interested for the TV..
though the things here seems like in pathetic state... things are not that much on my face... i am living it as any other day.. and thinking of that.. this is the phase of life which you never think about when everything is very normal..and thanks to your that thinking.. when it comes..you start questionng yourself.. why is it the case at present?? and surely there would be no answer.. this is the 'just wait and watch' thing.. and things would change.. as nothing is permanent..then why to bother about.. no... you should bother about it in the sense of saying yourself that it too will pass..without taking any tension for that thing.. 'move on' is the best word for this state of affairs... and as you move on, things will also fall in place for the best of the situations for you..
I was reading about Gulzar today and i was shocked to read about him... i had read about him but that was very general in the sense.. i wanted to collect information about him and just wanted to read his poems.. today when i read about "so called" the truth of his life.. i am still confused.. amazed and shocked.. is it the reality of his life.. is it just a story that has turned around for him for a question for him to solve throughout his life.. is it just a prank or a divine intervention to question the poet.. but the story was properly put up and it has all the drama and emotional value attached with it.. i came to know that storywriters normally ask too many questions to go to the details and get the complete framework of the scenes happening around.. with proper questions you can thread out the set and can know the exact picture of the story.. and i think thats the reason why i ask too many things and thats the reason for Gulzar using personification in most of his verses...
Happened to read about Vivekananda as well.. though couldnt complete the entire biography.. but that showed me the restless of Vivekananda to know himself.. and finally to know the reality of the life also.. getting some random clues about yourself and being some weird indications.. having some unique,arbit things in yourself and a quest/eagerness to solve life things make you a great human being.. both these characters tell me the same thing...
so knowing things.. is very important.. and so reading is very very important..
~I think i am doing justice to my time.. till the things settle down.. improver yourself.. and keep on reading.. :-)